Absent Again, but Back with Amusing News

This just in from Saro, Sweden: a moose was found stuck in an apple tree, apparently drunk from eating fermented apples.  CNN has the whole story.

Once rescuers freed the moose from the tree, the moose laid right down to sleep off his bender for the rest of the night and most of the next day.  I can only imagine what a moose-sized hangover must feel like.

We're Number One!

According to the Institute for Economics and Peace, Maine is the most peaceful state in the country. I don't know what could make them think that... Maybe this had something to do with it:

Pretty pictures aside, the designation is actually based on homicide rates, percentage of population in jail, availability of small arms, number of police officers, and overall violent crime rate. The study's individual state rankings cover those items as well as others, such as percentage of the population with diabetes, percentage without health care, and percentage in poverty.

The rest of the New England states fared pretty well, as well; New Hampshire came in second and Vermont third. Connecticut was the lowest-ranked of the New England states at number 15, which isn't too shabby. All told, it sounds like a Maine vacation is in order this year, don't you think?

Peace out, my friends.

Food Fight!

As I alluded to yesterday, there's been a big debate/fiasco over the "Maine State Dessert."  I haven't been following it too closely, mostly because of this one burning question I have that no one can seem to answer:

Why in the world do we need a state dessert?

I know there's been precedent for weird and seemingly pointless state symbols; for instance, did you know that the Maine state soil is the Chesuncook soil series, or that the Pertica quadrifaria is the state fossil?  (I did find it interesting is that the Schooner Bowdoin is officially the state vessel.  I spent a summer on the Bowdoin back in 1997.)  It's not just Maine, though; milk is the state drink of Maryland, and the cast iron dutch oven is the official cooking implement of Texas.

But I digress.

The debate at hand was whether the Whoopie Pie or Blueberry Pie should be given the title "Maine State Dessert."  Even with many more pressing matters to attend to in Augusta, legislators have been tied up with this question since late January.

The whoopie pie is, of course, two dollops of cake sandwiching a sugary frosting center.  Mainers like to take credit for the creation of the whoopie pie, although Wikipedia indicates that it could have been first created as far away as Pennsylvania Amish country.  The main argument against the Whoopie Pie, however, is that it's terribly sugary and fattening in a time when over 30% of Maine children are overweight or obese.  Really, there's nothing nutritionally-redeeming about it, antioxidants in chocolate notwithstanding.  (It's darn tasty, though.  That's at least something we can all agree on.)

Blueberry pie is even more self-explanatory.  What with the blueberry being the official state berry, it would stand to reason that its pie would also be remarkable.  It's also, as some people have noted, a real dessert, where the Whoopie Pie is more of a daytime snack.  (I can't make this stuff up, folks.)

Last Wednesday, the House approved a compromise: the Whoopie Pie would be the Maine state treat, while Blueberry Pie would be given the title of state dessert.  The compromise was approved in the House 107-34 and will soon go to the Senate for consideration.

I'm glad that there are still some things the government can come to bipartisan compromise on.  My burning question, however, remains unanswered.

Hair Hackle??

Here's another one to file under S for "Seriously?"

I just read an excerpt from the Angling Trade blog regarding a bizarre new trend- hair hackle.  Apparently, the beauty industry has fallen in love with the long saddle hackle typically used by the fly tying community and is now marketing it as hair extensions.  Take a look: Fine Featherheads

They're not just for women, though: Do Hair Extensions has feathers for men, and Puppy Locks has some for your best furry friend.  (How exciting!)

Unfortunately, the beauty industry is so large that it could wipe out the entire hackle supply without a second thought.  Angling Trade noted that the Home Shopping Network was looking to do a trial run of hair hackle and estimated that they could sell 15,000 saddles in a single weekend.  In short, there's almost no way the supply can keep up with the trend.  In fact, Angling trade is predicting that the trend will probably be over by summer not because society has gotten bored with it, but because there are just no saddles left.

I guess if you're going to San Francisco this spring, you should be sure to wear some hackle in your hair.  (Because you never know when you might get a hankering for fresh-caught fish...)

Impressive Coordination.

While Camp news is slow over the winter, I hope you haven't minded the random interesting news I've been posting.  In that vein, here's a crazy story from Alberta, Canada. It appears that two species of 5-needle pine (limber and whitebark) were added to the endangered species list after losing up to half of the members of most stands to pine beetles and blister rust.  Since they can live up to 1500 years, losing half of the local trees is a big deal.  (But no, that's not the interesting part.)

The interesting part is this: no one is yet sure how, but the trees seemed to get together last year to produce far more cones than usual, effectively helping to bring themselves back from the brink. Each tree typically produces 25 cones per year; last year, most trees produced around 75, and some produced up to 300. The extra cones served to outwit hungry squirrels and grizzlies, who just couldn't eat enough before the seeds were scavenged by birds.

The Clark's Nutcracker (or Nuthatch, depending on where you are) scrounges and hides the seeds left over by the squirrels and bears. The ones that get forgotten by the Nutcrackers then grow into new pines. Last year, there were so many seeds left over because of the overabundance of cones that more were hidden and forgotten than usual, increasing the chances for the stands to come back.

If pine trees were people, they would have never even gotten that idea off the ground without seven steering committee meetings and a few forms filled out in triplicate.  Have I mentioned before that nature is awesome?

You've GOT to be Kidding Me.

If I were looking for a place to file this bit of news, it would go under S for "Seriously??"  Let me introduce you to the - wait for it - Wildlife Taser.

From the company's website, "The Wildlife TASER electronic control device is a revolutionary new multi-shot ECD that can engage multiple targets, and deliver a calibrated Neuro Muscular Incapacitation (NMI) pulse from up to 35 feet away."

There are so many things wrong with this idea; where do I begin?  First off, I think they have a typo in their statement and meant to say that the Wildlife Taser can "enrage," rather than "engage," multiple targets.  The website also notes that the stun lasts for about 30 seconds.  What happens after that? 

Secondly, if I have a Taser calibrated for something the size of a moose (with a cartridge that will penetrate moose hide), what do you think is going to happen if I hit something smaller than a moose (goodness forbid, a human) with it?  Assuming that I'm not looking to kill everything under about half a ton, will I carry a variety of Tasers for different wildlife?  I could color-code them, perhaps: red for moose, black for bears, yellow for large cats, maybe pink for chipmunks and squirrels trying to steal food from my campsite...

My problem here isn't so much with the weapon itself; it's with the perceived safety of the weapon.  Everyone knows the danger inherent in discharging a standard firearm.  Tasers, on the other hand, are typically seen as safe: something that will stun but not kill, despite a couple of high-profile Taser deaths over the past few years.  Having that perception can really mess with a person's head when that person is in a high-stress situation; I can picture a lot of people not thinking twice about Tasering something that they wouldn't consider shooting.

These are being marketed to wildlife managers, field biologists, and zoo caretakers.  However, as one Taser representative said about the standard model Taser, "We meet one demographic, and that is of scared people.  I would say that our biggest-reached market is dads buying these for their daughters in college."  I've got to tell you: I'm skeptical of having trained field personnel carrying these things.  I'd be terrified to learn of any "scared" campers having a beefed-up bear Taser in my neck of the woods.

I'm not even going to post a link for this one.

Treehugger? Think again.

Thought you’d enjoy a little quiet time at Red River this summer?  Get away from conflict for a few days, out where everything is peaceful?  Maybe not, according to researchers.

Plant ecologists Ray Dybzinski and David Tilman have produced a new paper theorizing that trees not only use their roots to collect water and nutrients, but also to fight nearby trees for a little elbow room.  Apparently, the 11-year study showed that trees produce more roots than they need to maintain life, “probably not to help them grow more successfully, but rather to cause other trees to grow less successfully.”

According to the New York Times, Dr. Dybzinski and his colleagues report that the overabundant roots act as weapons of sorts to prevent other trees from growing.  Similar to the way trees will grow tall to reach sunlight, shading out less successful trees, the extra roots help to keep other trees at bay and ensure their own success.  

If there was no competition, trees wouldn't need to grow so tall or send out so many roots. "If they could somehow agree to cooperate and not compete, they could all stay closer to the ground and do something else with that energy, like create seeds," Dybzinksi told the New York Times.  Sage advice for trees and for people.

So when you're out in the woods this summer enjoying a respite from your own battles, keep in mind that it's a jungle out here, too.  ;-)